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About Be Heard Empowering Women
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- Mimi Tallo Author & Host
- Sheila Karron Editor
- Annie Russell Spanish Narrator
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At beheardwomenempoweringwomen.com, we take a comprehensive approach to wellness that considers all aspects of your life, including spirituality, mindfulness, time management. recovery, addiction, skin care,nutrition, meditation, sleep, stress management, and more.
The principle, "As Within As Without"
Dr. Martha Creek
Our Mission
beheardwomenempoweringwomen.com.
Our mission is to empower women.
Women of all ages and backgrounds overcome obstacles to become successful. Also, women that may need help that are in an abusive relationship or marginalized in their life.
The topic of abuse, addiction, recovery, and toxic shame are consistent topics on my show. I feel you would learn valuable information to take control of your health and wellness through education, support, and spiritual tools. We believe that everyone has the potential to live a vibrant and fulfilling life, and we're here to help them achieve that goal.
From Raised by Wolves Trapped by Demons
Russian Roulette
I was at work at the Plasma Center when FTD came in with a bouquet of roses for me. There was no card so I assumed they were from my husband. When I walked in with the flowers, Jack looked very angry. He demanded to know who they were from. I told him I thought they were from him because there was no card. He firmly reminded me that anytime he gave me flowers, it was in person. I told him I must have a secret admirer. Jack threw the flowers in the garbage straightaway. Of course, I now realized it was Roger, one of the clients at the Plasma Center. Roger developed a crush on me. He started waiting for me after work. I did not find him threatening, but I did not want to lose my job. I told him I was afraid he would get me fired. Then he started waiting for me in the parking lot down the street. I firmly reminded him that I was married and did not want to continue a clandestine affair. His reply was that if my husband met with him man to man, he would leave me alone. What was it with this man-to-man nonsense? As hard as it was to fathom, I knew he needed that showdown for closure. Telling Jack was not as hard as I thought it would be. After all, his cheating score card was more filled in than mine. He was upset and angry. But he knew how determined Jack B had been at the shwdown at My Place. He had been very close to losing me then. He reluctantly agreed to the meeting.
There was a bar downtown called The Dutchman. It was always quiet there. The agreed time was after I got off work, the three of us would meet. I walked in and Roger was already there. I went straight to the bar and ordered a double vodka on the rocks. Jack came in and I made the introductions.
Neither one raised their voices or threw a punch. Roger told Jack that I was an admirable and beautiful woman and should be valued as such. He wanted a promise that Jack would always be good to me. Jack told him in an annoyed manner that he knew how to take care of his wife. They even shook hands.
There is a phenomenon called Hysterical Bonding. Juxtaposed with your agony and distress, lies the desire to reconnect, to be comforted, to win them back from their affair partner. The need to feel wanted can prompt a desire to reconnect sexually. This rekindled intimacy may feel new, different, or unlike sex you had in the past. That was us for a short while after every extramarital dalliance.
Our other problems were still there, lack of money, drinking, abuse, and mistrust. Jack’s drinking was just out of control. I liked to drink at home, but he would start right after work and not come home till late at night. One night, he came home drunk and demanded dinner. I had made stew in the crockpot. When he began to eat, he made a remark that it was cold. I threw the crockpot at him. My long-repressed anger was about to erupt. We could not go on like this.
A week later he came home intoxicated as usual but surlier than customary. He took his revolver out of the gun case. He started to berate me about my failings and past indiscretions. He told me I made him feel less of a man and that was what led to his cheating. Then he held the gun to my head. I did not even flinch. I had learned from my college gun classes that if the safety was on, the gun would not fire. That was not the response he expected.
He then put the gun in my hand and held it to his head. This time he took off the safety. He told me to pull the trigger and I did. The gun had no bullets. He grabbed the gun and pushed me further back into the chair. He screamed “What if there were bullets in that gun?” I answered, “Then you would be dead.”
Now if there was a shred of sanity left in either of us that should have been the end of the marriage. But it was not.’
You cannot stay in an abusive relationship and not be affected by it. As a normal, feeling human being, it is not possible to be in such a situation and not be affected profoundly by it. Jack was so much better at destroying my boundaries and pushing me beyond my limits than I was at keeping him in place. As always, there comes the straw that breaks the camel's back. Believe it or not I still needed one more betrayal to be the final catalyst.
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